Saturday, August 7, 2010

Say It Ain't So... Tau? Seriously?!

It's not. Well, not really. I haven't fallen off my high horse yet.

A little background here: I despise the Tau. In the opinion of this author, Tau are the Jar-Jar Binks of the 40K universe; created solely for commercialization purposes to draw in younger players and Anime buffs. The concept was far from original, being an amalgam of several well-known Sci-Fi staples, and it wasn't executed well. A considerable chunk of the models, intended to be eye-candy, are mostly crap (chicken-legged Battlesuits anyone?). That being said; GW has every right to try to make money... and make money off the Tau they have. Even my money, I am ashamed to admit.

Wanting to draw my son into the hobby, I purchased a respectable army of Tau kits for him to build and play. I was successful in that it definitely generated interest in him, and he absolutely loves the game now. Although it does require a fire-and-brimstone speech from me to get him to read the damn rules. A few months in however, my spawn yanks the carpet out from under me and the little bastard repays my generosity by summarily pushing aside all the Tau plastic in favor of Black Templars. Awesome (not). Fret not... revenge will be mine when "can I have a car" or "can I get my driver's license" time comes around. Oh yes... revenge will be mine.

So, there they sat... bins and bins of discarded Pulse Rifles, ridiculous monocular helmets, and half-built Devilfish.

Fast-forward to this week. Work has been absolute hell, and my creative energy reserves are dangerously low. By the time I get home I'm so mentally fried that I just sit and stare at my poor Kommandos. Time for something new and different to lubricate the mental gears and get back up to full steam. I grab Catachan legs, some of the discarded Firewarrior torsos, a few Elysian drop-troop respirator heads, slop some glue around... and viola': Human Auxiliary! Good looking ones at that.

But wait... I hate the Tau. Really didn't think this one through, did you rocket scientist?!  Ok, ok... just slow down. Surely there's a way to cheese in some believable background. And then it hit me...

Human Auxiliary Renegades (*disgusted groans from the crowd ensue*).  Now wait... stick with me here... this one's not all that bad. Imagine a human world/sector/colony under Tau influence which decides to wake up and see that they sure do seem to get the short end of the stick more often than not when it comes to this "greater good" garbage. No matter how pampered, a pet is still a pet. So they toss off the yoke of the oppressors, grab the good gear for themselves, and plant the Don't Tread on Me flag.

"Don't Tread on Me" Cadre Trooper (Firewarrior):
WS:3  BS:3  S:3  T:3  W:1  I:3  A:1  Ld:7  Sv: 5+ Options: as Firewarrior

"Don't Tread on Me" Cadre Officer (Chez'frijoli, or whatever that Tau Sergeant word is):
WS:3  BS:3  S:3  T:3  W:1  I:3  A:2  Ld:8  Sv: 5+ Options: as Chez'frijoli

Think I'll toss together a Kill Team, and maybe 500 points. Use the Tau army list with little/no modification. Not bad, yeah?

Shuddup... who asked you anyways?!

In other news: work progresses (albeit, slowly) on the Baal Pred.



Dryw said...

In case you're wondering where I got the numbers: he stats-line for DToM Cadre is straight up Imperial Guard trooper template. Obviously I wouldn't be using any chicken-legged battlesuits in this army. Besides, I recall some bit of fluff somewhere stating those monstrosities are built to fit the individual user. Stealth Suits are still up in the air. I'd have to have a decent conversion which removes the dog-legs and make them more human friendly.

Final note: I must once again apologize for enforcing comment moderation. Rest assured that all valid comments (flattering or no) _will_ be approved. It grinds me that some net denizens feel the need to spam blog comments with malicious links. Trust me, it would be much easier for me if I could just open it up to all comments. Wish there was a better way.

Scott said...

Well look at it this way, black templars are not the worst thing he could have done, I mean he just primered them and colored in the shoulders, so at this point he is halfway to painting an actual army of worth, just needs some color. And I fully support your struggle against the bastard space sushi.


BH senior editor

Post a Comment